Are You Loving People the Way Jesus Loved You?

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John 13:34-35 - “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

If there is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in this world, it is that we need more love. In 1966, Dionne Warwick famously recorded the song “What The World Needs Now,” and the need mentioned in the song was love. If you were to ask anyone walking down the street, does the world need more love today, the obvious answer would be yes. Ask anyone in the church and they would tell you the same thing, so it is safe to say we all agree with this song. Here is the challenge: What should this love look like? This is where the rubber meets the road.

In John’s gospel, Jesus gives us a new command. Because it is new, it means it differs from what he has said before. Earlier, the qualifier in how we loved each other was to love your neighbor as yourself. Now Jesus makes a new command to love one another as he has loved us. This, my friends, changes everything.

It is one thing to love someone the way you love yourself. It is completely different to love someone the way Jesus loves you. This begs me to ask - how has Jesus loved you? As you consider his love, there are three characteristics I want to highlight.

1. Jesus Loved Sacrificially

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

Jesus loved you so much that he was willing to sacrifice his life to save yours. Jesus didn’t have to go to the cross, he chose to because he loved you. If you are going to love others like Jesus loves you, then it will require sacrifice. This does not mean you will have to die for your brother or sister in Christ, but it means you may not always get your way.

One definition of sacrifice is to give up something for the sake of something or someone else. Sacrifice might mean I give up my right to do something strictly for the benefit of another. Sounds a lot like loving others the way Jesus did. Even Paul in Philippians reminds us to value others ahead of ourselves. 

We have come out of the pandemic but imagine if Christians had loved sacrificially during this time. What would have been the impact on the world? Sacrificial love means I don’t have to do this, but I choose to do this because I love you. Just imagine how that would have played out during Covid. Instead, think of all the things Christians were fighting over, and none of it followed this command of loving each other as Christ has loved you. We failed on a grand stage and the entire world was watching. 

2. Jesus Loved in the Face of Criticism

Jesus was often criticized for eating with sinners and tax collectors.

“While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: ‘Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?’” (Mark 2:15-16).

The reason he ate with sinners is that, as he says in the next verse, it is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. Jesus didn’t care what people thought. These people were sinners and were the ones he came to save.

Unfortunately, the mindset of the Pharisees and teachers of the law still permeates the church today. Let me ask you, who are the sinners and tax collectors of our day? These are the people who need Jesus, but to step foot in their house and have a meal with them might open you up for criticism. If you are afraid of criticism from other believers, then that is Pharisee-like behavior.

There are people in our world who are lost and don’t know Jesus. These are the ones we need to be reaching. When you love like Jesus loves, you will deal with the criticism because you care more about sharing the gospel and the love of Jesus with people who need it than you do worrying about who is watching or what they will say.

3. Jesus Loved with Purpose

“Now he had to go through Samaria” (John 4:4).

In John 4, Jesus leaves Judea to go back to Galilee. To travel from Judea to Galilee was a common trip many Jews made during this time. Even though the fastest and most direct way to get to Galilee was to go through Samaria, many Jews avoided taking this route. Historians will tell us they did this for a few reasons. One was because of safety. Jews and Samaritans did not get along. In fact, Jews considered Samaritans to be half-breeds. They did not associate with them and they did not like them. According to the Biblical Archeology Society, this route was not the safest route either. 

“Although this route would have taken only three days by foot, many Jews chose to avoid it. They preferred longer routes that were historically safer. The Jewish historian Josephus records a violent quarrel between some Galilean Jews and Samaritans, while the Galileans were traveling through Samaria (Antiquities). Passing through this volatile region carried real risks.” 

Even though Jesus had different options to get back to Galilee, the Bible says he had to go through Samaria. He had to travel through the area which posed the greatest risk and the area with the people that Jews did not associate with. Why did he do it? Because Jesus loves with a purpose.

In this same chapter, Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well and begins a conversation with her by asking for a drink of water. This was wrong in many ways in this society. It was wrong because of the way Jews and Samaritans felt about each other. It was also wrong because it was not right for a Jewish man to have a private conversation with a woman, let alone a Samaritan woman. Yet here we find Jesus breaking all these rules. Why did he do it? Because he had a purpose. There was a Samaritan woman who needed to know who he was and if he had to break traditions and norms to minister to her, that is what he did.

Jesus’ love brought him to Samaria on purpose and this one conversation with this Samaritan woman not only changed her life forever, but it changed that town forever.

“Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, ‘He told me everything I ever did.’ So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. And because of his words many more became believers” (John 4:39-41).

Will You Obey This Command?

For you to love on purpose like Jesus did, you must break cultural and societal norms because you care about those around you who don’t know Jesus.

To be honest, this command to love like Jesus challenges me and shows me how far I have to go. I don’t always love like Jesus loves, and to me that is sad and shameful. My prayer for my life today is that Jesus would fill me with this type of love so that I would always walk in obedience to this command. It may cost me something and it may come with criticism, but the people whose lives will be affected by it make it all worth it. I pray you see this the same way too.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Ridofranz

Clarence L. Haynes Jr. is a dynamic speaker, Bible teacher, and co-founder of The Bible Study Club, dedicated to helping people live with purpose and clarity. In addition to his ministry work, Clarence has spent the last 13 years as a trusted financial educator, guiding thousands of people across the country—including employees at many Fortune 500 companies—toward lasting financial wellness. His unique ability to blend practical wisdom with spiritual insight equips people to thrive in every area of life.

He is the author of The Pursuit of Purpose, which helps readers understand how God leads them into his will, and the author of The Pursuit of Victory: How To Conquer Your Greatest Challenges and Win In Your Christian Life. Clarence is also committed to helping 10,000 people learn how to study the Bible and has released his first course, Bible Study Basics, to achieve that goal. To learn more about his ministry and resources, please visit clarencehaynes.com.